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What did happen, though, was just as I had predicted to Mary Beth; we concentrated less on the sex, and more on learning about each other, developing the level of intimacy that we had never had a chance to develop before. On the weekends, when she wasn’t catching up on her sleep, we would sit out in the sunroom and read, or listen to music together, and just enjoy being with each other.After a few weeks of Janelle living in the house with me, I was feeling content with our arrangements. We had developed a better level of closeness between us; when we had sex, it was less the primal, raw frantic fucking that we had done before, and gentler, more tender. The difference between fucking, sex and making love.We played quite a few gigs around Sydney during April; the new album and single were doing well on the charts; but we were up against some pretty good songs. I expected we would crack the top ten, but probably not get a number one hit. However, we were asked to come into the ABC. "Yes, but remember I have my own reasons. Why do you think that Jasmineonly exists here and not in the real world? Being discovered is mygreatest fear along with the ridicule and humiliation that wouldaccompany that discovery."I paused and continued, "You can dress like a man and no one blinks aneyelid. I dress as a woman and I am a disgusting freak, a faggot. In somepeoples' eyes I am worse than a paedophile. Do you know how much thathurts?"Karen walked over to me, put her arms around me and said, "I didn'trealise. As close to my brother as I was it seems to me that you probablyunderstand him better than I did." Only because he and I share, sorry, shared, the same compulsion. I don'twant to be a woman, but I do like wearing their clothes. Does that makeme a lesser man?"I realised that I was getting boring and decided to stop."Sorry, Karen. I don't know where that came from. Babs leaving me hasreally screwed me up. Maybe it's best if you go home and forget all ofthis. I'll start.
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